areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
