Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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