This is not my ceiling
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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