Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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