apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
