He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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