i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize