Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
