Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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