Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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