Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
