Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
