Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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