Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
