I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
