hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
