Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize