Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
