the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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