I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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