Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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