I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize