Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize