we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
