she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize