so let's talk penis.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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