one might say we're banned from that church
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My life is pants optional.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
