just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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