The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
