Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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