Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
