I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
