I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's like iHOP with fire
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
