they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
