one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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