And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
