So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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