apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
