I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
