What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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