I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize