I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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