so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
