awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
