i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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