I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize