Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
