Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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