Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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