We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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