Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i've created a new STD.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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