I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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