babies were throwing up all over the place
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
