shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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