all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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