Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
