I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
