i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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