I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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