Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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