Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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