I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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